Why Feeling Safe in Your Own Body Can Feel Impossible (And How to Change That)
Have you ever felt disconnected from your body—like you're floating outside yourself or constantly bracing for impact? Maybe you struggle with chronic anxiety, tension, or emotional numbness, and no matter how much you try to “relax,” your body doesn’t get the message.
Feeling unsafe in your own body is often the result of trauma, chronic stress, or a dysregulated nervous system. When your body has learned that the world is dangerous—or that being present is painful—it can be hard to stay grounded and at ease.
The good news? You can retrain your nervous system to feel safe again. This post will explore what it really takes to reconnect with your body, regulate your nervous system, and build a felt sense of safety.
Why We Lose the Feeling of Safety in Our Bodies
Your body is wired for safety, connection, and regulation—but when it experiences threat, trauma, or prolonged stress, it adapts in ways that can make it hard to feel safe in your own skin.
Here’s why that happens:
Your Nervous System Is Stuck in Survival Mode
Your autonomic nervous system (ANS) controls your body's stress response. If you’ve experienced trauma, ongoing stress, or neglect, your ANS may be stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode.
This makes it hard to fully relax because your body is constantly scanning for danger, even when there’s none.
Trauma Disconnects You from Your Body
If your body has been a place of pain, fear, or discomfort, your brain may have learned to dissociate or disconnect from physical sensations.
Signs of disconnection include:
✔ Feeling numb or detached from your body
✔ Difficulty recognizing hunger, fatigue, or physical needs
✔ Avoiding touch or body awareness exercises
Dissociation is a survival strategy—it’s not a flaw, but it does make reconnecting to safety harder.
Hypervigilance Makes Relaxation Feel Unsafe
If you grew up in an unpredictable or unsafe environment, your nervous system may have learned that staying on high alert is the only way to stay safe.
This can make slowing down feel terrifying because your body equates stillness with vulnerability.
What Does It Take to Feel Safe in Your Own Body?
Healing requires working with your nervous system—not against it. Here’s what it takes:
Learning to Track Your Nervous System States
Before you can shift into safety, you need to recognize when you’re dysregulated.
🚨 Signs You’re in Fight-or-Flight (Hyperarousal):
Racing heart, shallow breathing
Restlessness, anxiety, difficulty relaxing
Feeling “on edge” all the time
🛑 Signs You’re in Freeze (Hypoarousal):
Emotional numbness, disconnection
Brain fog, exhaustion, heaviness
Feeling checked out or detached from reality
✅ How to Shift: Start tracking your body’s signals without judgment. Journaling, body scans, or mindfulness check-ins can help.
Engaging in Safe, Gentle Body Awareness
Feeling safe in your body isn’t about forcing relaxation—it’s about rebuilding trust.
✔ Start with tiny doses of body awareness (e.g., wiggling fingers, noticing your breath)
✔ Try placing a hand over your heart or holding something warm to bring comfort
✔ Move at your own pace—pushing too hard can trigger more fear
Strengthening the Vagus Nerve for Nervous System Resilience
Your vagus nerve plays a crucial role in shifting from stress mode to safety mode. Strengthening it helps you feel grounded faster.
✔ Vagus Nerve Activation Techniques:
Humming or singing
Cold exposure (splash face with cold water)
Slow, deep breathing (exhales longer than inhales)
Gentle rocking or rhythmic movement
These small shifts tell your nervous system, “You’re safe now.”
Relearning That Rest Is Safe
For many, relaxation feels like a threat. If you’ve been conditioned to stay hypervigilant, slowing down may trigger unease or restlessness.
How to Ease Into Rest Without Panic:
✔ Pair relaxation with gentle movement (rocking, stretching, fidgeting)
✔ Use weighted blankets or soothing textures for comfort
✔ Give your brain a “job” (e.g., listen to calming sounds, hold a warm drink)
You don’t have to force stillness—just experiment with what feels soothing.
Practicing Co-Regulation: Healing Through Connection
We don’t heal in isolation—we heal in safe connection with others.
✔ Spend time with people who make you feel safe and calm
✔ Try physical touch (hugs, holding a pet, using a weighted blanket)
✔ Listen to a soothing, familiar voice (even a podcast or audiobook)
Co-regulation teaches your nervous system that safety isn’t something you have to create alone.
Working with a Therapist to Rebuild a Felt Sense of Safety
If feeling safe in your body feels impossible, you don’t have to do this work alone. A trauma-informed therapist can help:
✔ Reprocess past experiences that keep your body stuck in survival mode
✔ Guide you through somatic practices to gently reconnect with safety
✔ Offer a co-regulating presence to make healing feel less overwhelming
Therapy isn’t just about processing emotions—it’s about helping your body learn safety again.
Your Body Can Learn to Feel Safe Again
If feeling safe in your own body feels impossible, you’re not broken—your nervous system is just doing what it was wired to do.
When you’ve lived in a constant state of alert or anxiety, it’s hard to trust that calm is even possible. The goal isn’t to force healing or fake safety—it’s to gently retrain your system, one small step at a time.
Next Steps:
✅ Try one nervous system regulation tool for just 30 seconds
✅ Notice your body’s responses with curiosity instead of judgment
✅ Reach out for support—you don’t have to figure this out alone
Your body isn’t the problem. It’s trying to protect you. With the right support, you can help it feel safe again.
👉 Want to learn more about how I support clients through anxiety? Explore my approach to online therapy for anxiety and how we can work together to calm your nervous system and build lasting resilience.
