3 Reasons Why Your Anxiety Feels Worse Even When You’re “Doing Everything Right”
Why Does Anxiety Feel Worse When You’re Working So Hard to Fix It?
You’ve been doing everything “right.”
✔ Practicing deep breathing
✔ Going to therapy
✔ Exercising, journaling, meditating
✔ Challenging anxious thoughts
And yet… your anxiety still feels just as bad—maybe even worse.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. The truth is, healing anxiety isn’t always a straight line. Sometimes, anxiety spikes before it improves, leaving you frustrated and questioning whether you’re doing something wrong.
But here’s the thing: You’re not failing. Your nervous system is just recalibrating.
In this post, we’ll unpack three surprising reasons why anxiety can feel worse—even when you’re actively working on it—and what to do about it.
1. Your Nervous System Is Learning Safety (And That Can Feel Unfamiliar)
If you’ve lived with chronic anxiety for a long time, your nervous system has adapted to function in a high-alert state. Even though it’s exhausting, it also feels familiar—predictable—even normal.
So when you start practicing relaxation techniques, grounding exercises, or nervous system regulation, your body might actually resist feeling calm.
🚨 Why? Because your nervous system has been wired to associate safety with danger.
✔ If you grew up in an unpredictable or high-stress environment, your body learned that staying alert = survival.
✔ If you’ve been anxious for years, relaxation might feel foreign, uncomfortable, or even threatening.
✔ Your system might react to calmness with a spike in anxiety because it doesn’t fully trust that the “danger” is gone.
✅ What to Do Instead:
Go slow with relaxation—introduce small doses of safety at a time.
If deep breathing feels overwhelming, try gentle movement (walking, rocking, stretching) first.
Remind yourself: Discomfort doesn’t mean danger—it means your body is learning a new way to exist.
💡 Reframing This:
Instead of thinking, “Why do I feel anxious when I relax?”, try:
👉 “My nervous system is adjusting to safety—it just needs time to trust it.”
2. You’re Processing Emotions Your Body Has Suppressed for Years
Many people think anxiety is just “too many thoughts.” But in reality, anxiety often comes from unprocessed emotions stored in the body.
When you start doing the deep work—therapy, mindfulness, nervous system healing—your body may begin releasing emotions it’s been holding onto for years.
🚨 What This Might Look Like:
✔ Feeling more emotional than usual (sadness, frustration, grief).
✔ Experiencing unexpected anxiety spikes after deep therapy sessions.
✔ Having random memories or sensations resurface that don’t seem to make sense.
🔹 Why This Happens:
Your body has been suppressing emotions to protect you.
When you slow down, those stored emotions rise to the surface to be processed.
It’s like decluttering a closet—you have to pull everything out before you can organize it.
✅ What to Do Instead:
If emotions feel overwhelming, use grounding techniques (sensory touch, slow movement, cold exposure).
Remind yourself: This isn’t a setback—it’s a sign your body is healing.
Work with a trauma-informed therapist if deeper emotions feel unmanageable.
💡 Reframing This:
Instead of thinking, “Why am I getting worse?”, try:
👉 “My body is finally releasing what it’s been holding—I’m making space for healing.”
3. You’re Overloading Your Nervous System With Too Many “Fixes”
When anxiety feels unbearable, it’s easy to think:
👉 “If I just do more—more therapy, more breathing, more journaling—I’ll feel better faster.”
But healing isn’t about doing more—it’s about doing what actually works for your unique nervous system.
🚨 Why Overloading Can Make Anxiety Worse:
✔ Too many coping techniques at once can overwhelm your system instead of regulating it.
✔ Forcing yourself to relax when your body isn’t ready can increase anxiety instead of reducing it.
✔ Over-focusing on anxiety can keep your brain hyper-focused on fixing it—which keeps you in a stress loop.
✅ What to Do Instead:
Instead of stacking multiple techniques at once, pick one or two and practice them consistently.
If a tool isn’t working, try shifting to a different type of regulation (movement instead of mindfulness, for example).
Give yourself permission to rest—healing isn’t a productivity contest.
💡 Reframing This:
Instead of thinking, “I need to do more to fix this,” try:
👉 “My body needs less pressure and more safety—I’ll slow down and trust the process.”
Final Thoughts: Anxiety Feeling Worse Doesn’t Mean You’re Failing
If your anxiety has spiked even when you’re doing all the right things, take a deep breath—you’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong.
Key Takeaways:
✅ Anxiety can increase as your nervous system learns safety—it’s a normal part of healing.
✅ Processing stored emotions can make things feel messy before they get better.
✅ Doing too much too fast can overload your system—sometimes less is more.
The fact that your anxiety is shifting means your body is learning, adjusting, and healing. Keep going—you’re moving in the right direction.
Next Steps:
✔ Pick one takeaway from this list and reflect on how it applies to you.
✔ Notice if your nervous system feels overloaded or overstimulated—adjust as needed.
✔ If you need support, consider working with a nervous system-informed therapist.
Your healing isn’t linear, but every step forward is a step toward a calmer, safer future.
To find out more about my services, click here: Anxiety Therapy
