Not Freaking Out (Yet): A Mini Course

A $3 pixel-powered calm kit for your anxious brain (and its inner Tamagotchi)

Feeling Like You're One Glitch Away from Meltdown?

You know the feeling:

  • Your brain has 47 tabs open and none of them are loading

  • You can't tell if you're hungry, overwhelmed, or just... vibrating

  • "Just breathe" makes you want to throw your phone

This mini course is here to help you pause the panic spiral before it takes over. No journaling marathons. No "fix your life in 30 days." Just a few tiny, weirdly effective tools to keep your anxiety pet from going full meltdown mode.

🛠️ What You Get for $3

3 short video lessons

Retro visuals + zero-pressure vibes

A low-pressure, no-shame approach

Your Anxiety = A Chaotic Digital Pet

We’re not fixing you. We’re just giving you the tools to care for your glitchy inner system—like the emotional Tamagotchi it is.

Here’s how:

📆 Lesson 1: Name It to Tame It

🔊 Status: Mildly Buzzing

Name what you're feeling to stop the internal beeping. This simple script helps you locate what’s really going on without spiraling into a “what’s wrong with me” loop.

🌬️ Lesson 2: Breathe Like You Mean It

🔊 Status: Glitching

Learn two short breathing patterns that actually work—even if you’ve tried breathwork before and wanted to scream.

🌊 Lesson 3: Shift the Scene

🔊 Status: Meltdown Imminent

Discover how to use micro-movements or tiny environment changes to reset your system—no yoga mat or walk in nature required.

😿 Who This Is For

  • Folks who spiral quickly and need tools that work fast

  • People who want a break from shame-based wellness content

  • Neurodivergent humans who can’t always “just calm down”

  • Anyone who wants anxiety tools with a little humor and zero condescension

🚀 Why Just $3?

Because nervous systems don’t need another reason to feel pressure. This is a tiny offer with big heart—designed to give you a taste of what it feels like to be supported without feeling like a self-help project.

Plus: You get lifetime access.

🚪 What Happens After You Buy:

  1. You’ll get instant access to the course

  2. You can start immediately (or save it for your next anxious Tuesday)

  3. No logins that make you rage. No recurring fees. It’s yours.

🕹️ Ready to Press Start?

Your anxiety pet has been blinking. Let’s help it out.

You’re not broken. You’re overloaded. Let’s give you a soft reboot.